Fat experiences

I have gained quite a bit of weight in the last 2.5 years and I have similar feelings. On the one hand I love it and on the other I feel so big. I definitely need new clothes but at this point I have no idea what size I would be.

I also put on 180lbs. seeing myself growing bigger is exciting but I feel bad with all the comments that I should lose weight

I'm definitely insecure, I feel like gaining more weight and on the other hand I feel ashamed that all the clothes are tight.

Re-frame the negative comments as teasing and recognition of how fat you're getting. If you like being fat then this is simply being reminded of something you like.